GUEST BLOGGER: NEENA VILAS TALPADE
‘Frustration leads to Aggression.’ I was perusing the Psychology course-book that I’d recently bought for my classes and came upon the frustration–aggression–displacement theory by *Dollard-Miller and Effects of Frustration by **Dill-Andarson.
.And I remembered the incident with the group of my friends, where I had suddenly erupted in a rage when one of them said something nasty about my girl-friend. I had punched him hard then; much to my chagrin later. Thank God I apologised to him and he graciously accepted my regrets about the whole incident.
Well, after’stewing’ in my thoughts all day, I came to certain conclusions about the main enemies within myself that cause frustration, especially during this transition from adolescence to adulthood:
- Licentious thoughts: The raging hormones are not just responsible for the change in my appearance and voice.They change the way I view the opposite sex and create those urges that nature has made essential for the future of the human race! But which, when thwarted, leads to lust-and unwholesome thoughts. Movies, serials, computer games aggravate this situation. Then follows guilt and fear of censure. So how does one handle that?
- Anger: Thwarted desires- knee jerk reaction-anger and rage. Anything that goes against the fledgling ‘ego’, anything that challenges the conditioning ‘learnt’ from parents,teachers and peers makes me so furious that I could burst! Over-reaction? Why-of course!
- Avarice: That new I pod, the fastest laptop, my friend’s dad’s new car, someone’s fashionable clothes are just few of the things that evoke greed, it’s not just about food!
- Temptation: The next level: Temptation! I have stolen that skull-ring that my friend left on the wash basin counter in the change room. And such other knickknacks that don’t cause concern. I know this is wrong. So then, what??
- Envy: I feel jealous of just about anyone who, according to me has got ‘a better deal’. Can’t get rid of these thoughts.
- Restlessness: I feel unable to ‘forgive and forget’ and as a result, I am often unable to think positively. There is a constant anxious feeling gnawing in my belly.
- Fear: Like most of my friends, I have made some plans for my future. But when I think of the unknown, uncharted future, my stomach ties itself up in knots.
There is no quick-fix solution for this adolescent angst, which of course is not peculiar to me alone. (It merely manifests as different behaviours in different teenagers.)
For regaining my equanimity, I turn to:
- My family who are more like my friends just seem to understand me at every moment.
- My friends, of whom I am lucky to have a decent lot.
- My teachers, who guide me for my career and my gym and sports coaches, who insist on daily exercise, proper food, rest and sleep.
- Good inspirational books, thanks to my mom’s library.
- Some excellent programs on TV and the internet.
- Above all, those few moments of daily bonding between my Creator and me. This reinforces the ‘feel good factor’ within me!
My aim: To personally negate- ‘Frustration leads to Aggression.’ I am pretty sure that I’ll succeed!
**Dill, J. C.; Anderson, C. A. (1995). “Effects of Frustration-Justification on Hostile Aggression”. Aggressive Behavior 21 (5): 359–369. doi:10.1002/1098-2337(1995)21:5<359::aid-ab2480210505>3.0.co;2-6